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April 27 (Friday, Day 1, Leaving Ft. Lauderdale)

We awoke at 4:30 AM, showered, dressed, and headed out to pick up Janet’s parents at their house. From there, the trip to the airport was uneventful, as was check-in at Southwest.  We were told that the plane was pretty full, so we settled in the back of the plane and began to get comfortable for our 7:20 AM departure. And then, we met . . . Joe-Bob (not his real name).

Joe-Bob was your classic good-old-boy, traveling with his wife to do some fishing in Florida.  He was situated on the aisle seat in the last row, across from Janet and behind Phil’s mom-in-law (whom we’ll call “Mom” for short).  Joe-Bob was boisterously cheerful, which should have been our first warning sign.  We determined that it was probably Joe-Bob’s first flight and he was trying to hide his trepidation.  For the moment, he was succeeding with the aid of a stiff drink or two.  Joe-Bob’s parents and cousins were on another Southwest flight from KCI to Ft. Lauderdale. They were on separate flights since he and his wife booked later and ours was the cheaper flight.  Joe-Bob’s wife chatted via cell-phone with his family in the next plane over, which departed just before our flight pushed back.  We watched maintenance people come on the plane, go into the flight deck, and then go back outside.  This is rarely a good sign.  Eventually, the passengers on our plane were all boarded and settled, but maintenance people continued to frequent the flight deck.  After a brief delay, the pilot said that our plane wasn’t going anywhere, but that we would board the plane that had just arrived from Dallas and had parked at the gate beside us.  (The gate vacated by Joe-Bob’s relatives a bit earlier.)

Shamu at KCI, not our plane (or Joe-Bob’s relative’s plane) but the one on the other side of us.

Joe-Bob wasn’t amused with this development, but his wife calmed him down and we all went back into the terminal.  After maybe fifteen minutes, we were boarded onto the new plane.  Plane #2 pushed back, then didn’t go anywhere. 

Oh-oh. 

The maintenance guys came out and opened the cowling of the right engine.  After about 20 minutes they fixed the problem, and the pilot made an announcement that they’d have to go back to the gate to “fill out the paperwork.”  Joe-Bob was now officially ON EDGE.  Quietly at first, but with steadily increasing volume, he launched into a tirade featuring the F-bomb every third or fourth word.  “I want off this f’ing plane.  I want off right now.  F*** it.  I need a f’n cigarette.  Get me off of this f’n plane.”  Meanwhile, Southwest finally figured out that maybe it would be easier to bring the paperwork out to the plane versus pull the plane back into the gate, and we finally took off about 1.75 hours after our scheduled departure time.

Our Southwest flight was scheduled to stop in Tampa before terminating in Ft. Lauderdale.  After we got through delay #1, plane change, and delay #2, the flight from KC to Tampa went smoothly.  The flight attendants didn’t publicize that they were giving free drinks, but if you ordered a drink, it came and they weren’t asking for payment.  Given Joe-Bob’s state of mind, I suppose the flight attendants weren’t sure whether or not to give him more whiskey, but they did—five of them in all.  Janet’s dad, on the other hand, partook of a single scotch on the rocks before 10 AM—not his usual routine. 

When we started the descent to Tampa, Joe-Bob’s insecurities (and his affection for F-bombs) arose again. “I want off this f’n plane.  F***.  I need a f’n cigarette.  F*** it.  Are we in FL yet?  F***.”   Joe-Bob’s volume was again increasing as he became more and more agitated.  But this time, he varied his routine by repeatedly getting up out of his seat (the fasten-seat-belt signs are, of course, on).  Phil leaned over to Janet and asked “I wonder if Joe-Bob will be leaving us in Tampa?”

When we landed in Tampa and parked at the gate, the galley truck moved up and they opened the rear galley door to resupply. Joe-Bob might have made it to Ft. Lauderdale if he had just settled down (and sat down) at that point.  The woman traveling with him kept telling him that he had one more flight to go but Joe-Bob insisted on getting off.  With the plane’s rear galley door now open, Joe-Bob saw an opening (literally) and tried to go out the galley door.  They frown on that sort of thing as a rule.  The flight attendant said he would have to go out the front. Joe-Bob insisted that he needed to get off the plane.  The flight attendant, who had been amazingly patient with Joe-Bob to this point, agreed to let him off the plane, and said “Follow me.” She led him up the aisle and out the front door where the friendly Tampa police officers were waiting to have a chat with him.  A few moments later, one of Tampa’s Finest came back to get a statement from the flight attendant.  This was probably only the start of Joe-Bob’s very, very bad day.

Sans Joe-Bob and his partner, we departed Tampa and landed without further incident in Ft. Lauderdale.  We arrived at the ship around 2:30.  As we boarded the Seven Seas Mariner, Phil and Janet were delighted to be welcomed back by name by Lynn, the Regent “Future Cruise Consultant” with whom we’d booked this cruise, and by one of the waiters who was handing out the champagne glasses.  He said he remembered serving us in the dining room on the last cruise.  We were amazed that people remembered us!  As we walked around the ship later on, more and more crew would come up to us, shake our hands and welcome us back.  And, yes, we remembered most of them, too!

Our suite

When we arrived at our respective suites we were greeted with a beautiful tropical floral arrangement, a bottle of Veuve Clicquot champagne, a coupon for a free 8 x 10 photograph and a beautiful red silk covered jewelry box (with a drawer in it) of 30 pieces of Leonidas Belgium chocolates (which retails for $48).  Each of the suites had $700 in shipboard credit, too, due to using AmEx Platinum and due to Regent just giving us $400 because of our prior problems in December, 2005. We met our stewardess, Eugenia, from Cali, Colombia.  The situation in our “suite” being well in hand, we headed down to Mom & Dad’s room. 

Goodies

The scooter that we ordered for Dad was waiting in their handicap suite (829) and we were down the hall in 877.  Their suite is very close to the laundry room so that will be nice.  The ship left Ft. Lauderdale at 4 PM and Mom promptly wanted their bottle of champagne opened so Phil obliged her!

There was a block party at 6 PM where you were supposed to step in the hall and meet your neighbors.  This hadn’t been done on either of our prior Regent cruises and we thought it was a great idea.  Stewardesses came by with bottles of wine, and it got everyone talking to everyone else.  The couple next door to us is from Ventura, CA and the husband is a WWII army POW.  He had on his bolo tie with the POW holder and that’s what I saw.  I hooked him up with Dad and they traded war stories.

April 28 (Saturday, Day 2, At sea)

I’ve been fighting a cold for the past five days and still have it so am kind of lethargic.  However, after breakfast outside on the back of the ship Phil and I decided to look for Mom and Dad.  We looked everywhere (except for the hospital) and finally just gave up.  As it happens, they were in the naturalist’s lecture on sea life.  During our search we went in the theatre, but somehow missed Dad on his scooter in the aisle and Mom in the seat next to him.  Anyway, everyone was having fun and that’s all that mattered.

We received an invitation to join the Food and Beverage Manager Dominique Nicolle (male, French) for dinner that night.  Mom got all dressed up in formal attire but 20 minutes before dinner, she felt seasick so she stayed in her room.  The rest of us had a good time, though.  We found that Dominique started out as a chef and is now in charge of a staff of 211, including the executive chef and the executive housekeeper.

April 29 (Sunday, Day 3, At sea)

After breakfast Phil was watching his favorite shipboard channel--the navigation channel that shows a map of where we are and said, “We’re not heading south to Colombia anymore but now we’re going northwest to Jamaica.  We must be having another medical evacuation.”  We went to the front desk and asked.  Sure enough, the front desk had just been informed by the bridge that we were heading towards Jamaica.  So, we’re on our 2nd Regent cruise with a medical evacuation!  Around noon the helicopter from the Jamaica Defence Force hovered over the ship and picked up the man with the bladder blockage, his wife, and a ship’s nurse and took them to Jamaica.  Our port stop in Cartagena, Colombia was canceled but we were told we would make the Panama Canal as scheduled.  Phil and I were thrilled with another day at sea but Mom wasn’t since she was thinking of more seasickness.  (Dramamine proved to work for her, though, so she has been fine after that first bout.)

Air evacuation at sea

Since we used an American Express Platinum card to pay for the cruises, we were invited to a “Back of the House” ship's tour with Human Resources Manager Vanesa Serafini.  We briefly toured the galley, the officers’ mess (which was small and made me realize that there aren’t many officers on board), the crew’s mess (which was pretty large), the crew bar (very smoky and not too big), and the laundry.  The laundry was hot and humid, crowded and busy.  This was the last stop on the tour, so the nine guests were treated by Regent to a full bar set-up.  (Alcohol is free at all times so it wasn’t that big of deal but did look very out of place in the industrial laundry!)

Food in the galley

Dad, Mom, and Janet in the galley

Ship's Laundry

The story continues in Part Two, 4/30/07.