Contributed by: filbert Thursday, May 28 2009 @ 10:50 AM CST
“Do you think sheep know when you’re pulling the wool over their eyes?â€Poetry. Sheer poetry.“Obviously the only rational solution to your problem is suicide.â€
“All extremists should be taken out and shot.â€
“100,000 lemmings can’t be wrong.â€
“Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleepâ€
“I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather…. …Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car….â€
“The gene pool could use a little chlorine.â€
“Happiness is a belt-fed weaponâ€
“I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.â€
“Your kid may be an honor student but you’re still an IDIOT!â€
“It’s as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.â€
“When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.â€
“Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.â€
“Friends don’t let Friends drive Naked.â€
“Wink, I’ll do the rest!â€
“I took an IQ test and the results were negative.â€
“Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?â€
“If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?â€
“Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!â€
“It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.â€
“Reality? That’s where the pizza delivery guy comes from!â€
“Forget about World Peace…..Visualize Using Your Turn Signal !â€
“Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.â€
“Give me ambiguity or give me something else.â€
“We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.â€
“Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.â€
“He who laughs last thinks slowest.â€
“Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.â€
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