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Morning Whip, July 20, 2005

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The Whip Special mention: "Tranquility Base here, the Eagle has landed."
As always, click on the article title above or on "read more" below to get the entire list.

#10: Scotty beams up: James Doohan passes away.
James Doohan, who created the archtypical engineer character "Scotty" in the original Star Trek TV series, has died, according to a Fox News report.

Go shop at a Costco near you!

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Article from the Houston Chronicle via Fark:

Costco's average pay, for example, is $17 an hour, 42 percent higher than its fiercest rival, Wal-Mart's Sam's Club. And Costco's health plan makes those at many other retailers look Scroogish. One analyst, Bill Dreher of Deutsche Bank, complained last year that at Costco "it's better to be an employee or a customer than a shareholder."

What a thought! Treat your employees well, and they'll treat your customers well. Nah, it'll never catch on.

How To Move A Hippo

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From the US Postal Service (hat tip fark.com):

Hippos

You'll need:

* 1,000-gallon tank per hippo
* 1,000 gallons of water
* Crane
* 1-pound sedative
* Soothing hippo music
* 2 Aspirin (for you)

How to pack:

1. Fill your tank with 800 gallons of water. Start yesterday. Remember, a medium-sized hippo takes up at least 200 gallons. (Just out of curiosity, why do you have a hippo, anyway?)

2. Apply sedative. Take two Aspirin.

3. Hold it, hold it - put the hippo in the tank, first. Start with soothing hippo music, followed by a large winch and crane.

4. Now go relax in a hot bath before the forklift arrives.

WAIVER: We in no way advocate moving a hippo or any animal without the express advice and consent of your local vet or zoo keeper. If you'd like advice from a veterinarian on moving with pets click here.

Morning Whip, July 19, 2005

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The Whip There's only eight entries in today's Top Ten, and that's including several fluff items. I guess we're solidly in the Dog Days of Summer. As always, click on the article title above or on "read more" below to get the entire list.

#8: IBM to kill off OS/2--finally
IBM says use Linux instead.

Morning Whip, July 15, 2005

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The Whip Medary.com presents the triumphant return of the Morning Whip!

For those of you new to Medary.com, The Whip was a quick review of the day's headlines from Medary.com's unique editorial viewpoint. It returns in a Top-10 List format, but you'll have to click on the Morning Whip title above, or click "read more" below to get the goods. Click on an ad or two, too, if you see something interesting.

Glorious Victory Over The Infidels

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A brave soldier of Allah selflessly took his own life today to stop an infidel American Marine dog from handing out candy to Iraqi children.

Twenty-seven Muslim youngsters were martyred in this glorious strike in the jihad against the infidels.

Do you still think that the Wahabbist gangsters are the good guys?

Light posting

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Snookums and I are wandering the American Outback of South Dakota, Wyoming, and Nebraska, so posting volume is down a bit.