The Whip is pretty lame again today. But, the garage is clean, and the dog poop has been picked up/hosed off of the back yard patio, so the morning isn't a complete, um, wash. So, let's give it a try.

Social Security 'nerd' earns Bush's attention. See what happens when people actually talk to one another rather than just shout back and forth? I don't know for sure if Robert Pozen's Social Security reform idea is really the way to go, but it's heartening to actually see constructive ideas rather than knee-jerk obstructionism come from the D side of the political spectrum.

The prosecutor is looking into Jennifer Wilbanks' western vacation.

Laura Bush has once again proved that conservatives' senses of humor are better developed.

In a related story, a parody/hoax news release this bogus press release purportedly from a Christian group complaining about the First Lady's performance was swallowed hook line and sinker by several media outlets including MSNBC. The real Traditional Values Coalition just says this "comes with the territory."

Cleaning up the Abu Gharib mess. Lyndie Englund pleads gulity becoming the latest to, um, go down.

In sports, Stop The Presses: The Royals have won two in a row! What'll be next, the Red Sox winning the World Series? Oh, that already happened? Well then, how about the Cubs?

You know, there's really nothing in the Sunday news that I feel like highlighting or commenting on. I think I'll go clean the garage. We'll try to Whip again tomorrow . . .

The "kidnapped bride" wasn't. More on this in its own article.

Shuttle launch delayed into July, ongoing safety concerns cited.

The KC Royals ineptitude continues, now on the road in Cleveland.

Want to know what the effect of private accounts on your retirement will be? Go here.

Bush tries again with Social Security.

Iraq has a democratically elected government now.

Ivory-billed woodpecker, thought to be extinct, isn't.

Shuttle launch date might slip again.

The entire Kansas City metropolitan area breathes a sigh of relief as the Royals finally leave town for a road trip.

NCAA Board of Directors news:
Approve 12th football game for I-A.
One I-A game vs. a I-AA football opponent will count towards bowl eligibility.
Eased I-A football attendance requirements.
Approve all but one of the women's basketball recruiting proposals put forward by the WBCA.

Bison corralled in tennis court.

OK, so this whole judicial nominations thing boils down to: D's don't want to vote for the President's nominees. Somehow, this is news. Somehow, this gets reported as the D's offering a compromise to the R's.
Some compromise: "OK, we'll only throw a partial temper tantrum if you give us what we want." Nice.

"We have not even reached May, and already there's nothing left to say."
Joe Posnanski on the woeful KC Royals.

The Airbus A380, a double-decker plane which will dethrone the Boeing 747 as the largest commercial airplane, completes its first flight.

The Lebanese dance as the last of the Syrian occupying forces leave.

Microsoft to add 'black box' to Windows. Can anyone see a problem with this? Anyone?

Senate Leader Frist isn't interested in deals over judicial nominations.

Why it's not a good idea to get crossways of Kentuckians . . . especially if you're terrorists in Iraq.

Finally, from the Michael Jackson Circus, JACKO AIDE AXED.

The Broncos drafted Maurice Clarett? That's what I get for ignoring the NFL draft this year.

Funny? Weird? Weirdly funny? You decide: The 213 Things Skippy Is No Longer Allowed To Do In The U.S. Army.

Long-Married Couple Die on Same Day. If two deaths can be romantic . . . these are. RIP, Alexander and Leola.

Snookums and I watched Locusts last night. Wow, talk about two hours of your life you'll never get back. Reviews range from simple disgust to high amusement. Where are Joel/Mike & The Bots when you really need them?

And, something to ponder as you go through your day today: Why couldn't Snookums and I find something better to watch on TV than Locusts?

A new Mark Steyn article is up at the Chicago Sun-Times.
Anyway, a surprisingly large number of hitherto quiescent Granite State Republicans demanded to know what's the deal with the inept and unreliable GOP senators. Newt gave pretty much the standard reply: Well, you must understand the party's still not used to being in charge of Congress. If they'd taken the first poll of the 2008 primary right there and then, he'd have dropped off the graph.

Newt's answer was just about plausible in 1995. But after a decade in charge? The Iraqi people are expected to get the hang of this self-government thing in 20 minutes, but the Republican Party requires another decade or three?

Steyn's better at this than I am. I tried to make basically the same point a couple of Whips ago.

Major media company admits equipping, sending hecklers to conservative meeting. (Hat tip: Instapundit).

Snookums and I were listening to "Jack" Radio just last night. A commentary here:
How does terrestrial radio respond? By trying to be more like satellite radio. (Impossible since music channels on satellite radio has no commercials.) By trying to be more like an iPod. (Why would I trade my iPod for Jack? My iPod has all my favorite music...plus no commercials.)

Hemp. It's making a comeback. I've got a Tilley hemp hat, and I love the thing. And I don't generally like hats.

Spring Football: SDSU's defense looks good.

Wal-Mart continues its push into every nook and cranny of the USA.

Is human hibernation on the way? Scientists put mice into hibernation. Open the pod bay doors, HAL.

Heard the one about Spearfish, SD having an ordinance saying that a group of three or more Indians (aka "Native Americans") could be shot on site? It isn't true--another urban myth.

P.J. O'Rourke on Social Security.

Wendy's chili finger woman arrested, will be charged with larceny.

Japan's Prime Minister apologizes to China. Well, I'm glad that flap is over, and the two countries can go back to being best buddies. Yah, right.

Monday is the first day of "TV Turnoff Week." Does anybody actually plan to do this?

Earth Day is, um, today?. Who knew? Have you hugged your tree today? I guess President Bush will be doing some Smoky Mountain Tree Hugging himself.

Google profits up 500%. Keep clicking those 'Ads by Goooooogle' boxes, folks.