Republicans still don't know how to govern as a majority:
GOP lawmakers offer to investigate DeLay
Senate Urged to Confirm Bolton Nomination
The truth about Bush's not-so-dirty dozen judges

But maybe they're learning. House Speaker Hastert edges toward hardball politics by suggesting that leading Democrats might also find themselves in the ethical crosshairs.

The NEA thinks your money is theirs, and they'll sue to get it.

Synchronized traffic lights save time, gas. They're also not really that easy to set up and operate especially as size of the city grows, which is why most places don't do it. They should, though.

Space Shuttle's return to space pushed back a week to May 22.

Marine is leading candidate to become Chairman of Joint Chiefs, would be first Marine in that post.

Chimps will not be charged in mauling of California man.

Meanwhile, the Great Ape Trust of Iowa is set to open a new campus near Des Moines.

Great Ape Trust. Of Iowa.

US Airways-America West airline merger being discussed.

There's apparently an NFL Draft about to happen. Unfortunately I've been so busy with life elsewhere that I haven't been paying attention.

San Diego gets a second college football bowl game, and San Jose loses theirs.

Deron Williams won't be returning to the Illinois basketball team next year, gets agent, files for the NBA draft.

Snookums and I have been watching House recently.

Ben and Jen Part Deux. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner.

Pope Benedict XVI.

Cell transplant from mother to daughter cures Type 1 diabetes in daughter.

Hope for rural Internet users (Hi, Betty! Hi, Brenda!) Wi-Max is coming. Long-range (up to 30 miles), wireless networking. As mentioned in a previous Whip, Intel is moving forward with a chip implementation of Wi-Max.

"One Size Doesn't Fit All." With those profound words, the Government tries again with their Food Pyramid. Is the USDA still pushing carbs? You betcha!

Division I athletics finally come to South Dakota, as the U. of Minnesota visits South Dakota State in Sioux Falls. To understand what a big deal this is, realize that South Dakota was the very last of all the states to field a "big-time" college athletic program.

Tech question of the day: How do you syslog?

Your tax dollars at work. The Feds are trying again with a new, improved, we really mean it this time, this will work fer shur Food Pyramid.
People have steadily grown fatter since the food pyramid debuted in 1992. A report last month in The New England Journal of Medicine contended that obesity, particularly in children, was fueling a reversal in life expectancy, shaving four to nine months off the average life span.
Keep up the good work, USDA.

Fox News Channel: Now available on your Sprint PCS Phone. Now, the Fox News Alert "BONG" can follow you wherever you go!

Monday Night Football is moving to ESPN. NBC picks up Sunday Night Football.

Lance Armstrong to retire after this year's Tour de France.

Snookums and I took a day off yesterday, going to a baseball game and fininshing off with our 6 month anniversary dinner at The Melting Pot.

Playing SimCity for real: Fire department response in most of metro Kansas City is longer than the national target of six minute response 90% of the time.

The Chinese really don't like the Japanese very much.

Biosafe cat litter? Isn't that a contradiction?

Drunk Monkeys Brawl with Humans.
BHUBANESWAR: A group of monkeys descended on an Orissa village, quaffed down pots of an intoxicating brew lying in the open and then set upon the villagers, injuring three of them.

Couple gets cruise line apology for bed bug infestation.

RV Capital of the U.S.?
Yesterday's Whip stated that two of the top five fastest growing counties in the US were in suburban Sioux Falls, SD. Not quite true. Hanson County is one county over from the Sioux Falls MSA which now includes Minnehaha, Lincoln, Turner, and McCook counties. The reason for the big percentage growth in Hanson County's population is that nomadic RV owners have to list somewhere as their residence, and use a Hanson County company to do that.

Tech News: IBM revenue and profits rise, but the company misses its targets.

Cisco buys Topspin, a "grid computing" company which makes products to cluster servers.

Is it possible to drink too much water? Well, yeah. Keep those electrolytes up, y'all.

"You're not going to file this, are you?" Listed under Things you don't want to hear from an accountant. Snookums and I got our draft tax return back from a Major Tax Return Preparation Service, and shipped it over to Snookums' sister, who works in the tax division of a Major Accounting Firm. Snookums' sister, um, recommended we file an extension. Enough said.

Hyping the number of people with diseases. Objective scientists would never do this. Would they?

UN Oil-For-Food scandal indictments. A Texas oilman, David Chalmers, a British citizen, John Irving, and a Bulgarian associate Ludmil Dionissiev are named in the just-opened indictment in New York. The first of many, we hope.

Florida is still growin' like a weed with 14 of the fastest-growing 100 counties in the U.S. Suburban Sioux Falls, S.D. has two counties in the top five - - but when one of them only has 3,700 residents, one big Catholic family moving in will skew the stats a bit.

The RIAA is going after the research/academic Internet 2 network users.

Whippin' on the road again today . . .

Britany is preggers.

This Can't Be Good: 1957 pandemic influenza virus sent to thousands of labs by mistake. Oops.

John Bolton, nominee for U.S. ambassador to the U.N., is a meanie.

This month's serious Microsoft security flaws. Patch yer systems, for cryin' out loud (Windowsupdate requires Internet Explorer, sadly).

Everybody's apparently talking about I-Pod One, the President's exercise music selections.

Third-largest opening day crowd in Kauffman Stadium history sees the Kansas City Royals blown away by the Seattle Mariners. Sigh. Joe Pozanski sees a silver lining, though.

Low-fat diets may be depriving kids of necessary vitamins.

Purdue extends its Rube Goldberg Contest dynasty with its third straight championship.

There's a huge scandal brewing up north in Canada. Here's what it's aboot . . .

U.S. to start requiring American Citizens returning from Mexico and Canada to have valid passports.

Don't want genetically altered rice in your beer? That's OK, Anheuser-Busch is on your side. Don't want rice in your beer? Well . . .

Related: The St. Louis beer giant has increased its stake in China's Tsingtao brewery. Makes sense to me.

Regular readers may know that we keep half an eye on Wal-Mart, which rarely gets positive press. This Townhall editorial is an exception.

Finally in The Whip today: The Incredible Popeman?

Opening Day here in Kansas City. The Royals come home for their season opener after a 3-3 road trip.

China and India make nice.

The Mother of All Generators has been delivered to Kirkuk, Iraq.

Heard about the Washington Governor's Election debacle? Maybe you should . . . something really stinks up in the Pacific Northwest.

Meanwhile, the New York Times is beating the bushes (no pun intended) to find a prominent Republican to come out against House Leader Tom Delay. Isn't it time for someone to say something about how the media should report the news, not make the news? Or how about "they all do it, move along, nothing to see here?"

Getting a slow start, which I guess is OK for a Sunday.

Asteroid Alert! Due date: Friday the 13th, April, 2029.

Dance team at San Jose State grinds it out, offends oldster, gets suspended.

Boeing is set to launch the 747 Advanced.
The 747 Advanced would have greater range, modified wings and carry 30 more passengers — 450 rather than 420 — than the existing 747. The rival A380 will carry about 550.