The alleged Finger-In-The-Wendy's-Chili affair gets weirder. It seems that the supposed victim has a history of litigation, including one dismissed case where she claimed that a wheel fell off her car.

Another computer stolen, more private records compromised. This time, it's a medical office computer in San Jose. That's only the tip of a very large iceberg. Want to get sobered up real fast? Type "stolen computer" into Google News. We're just going to have to outlaw the negligent electronic storage of personal information.

Duck broods at the Treasury Department. The Secret Service is there. On a side note, did you know that the Secret Service had a uniformed division? Secret? Uniforms?

Postal rates going up to $0.39? It's Congress' Fault!

Fish prefer noise.

Spammer sentenced to nine years in prison in Virginia. One down, a million to go. They don't have Internet access in prison, do they?

Cookie Monster goes low-carb?

Hunting puma in the Black Hills.
Jonathan Jenks, a South Dakota State University wildlife and fisheries professor, is the principal investigator on the mountain lion study. For the first time last year, he said, biologists came upon cougars that were not in good condition. The presence of a couple of emaciated young lions, Jenks said, suggests the Black Hills might be supporting the maximum number of cougars it can.

Got horses? Got riders? Be like South Dakota State and thirty-some other colleges and start an equestrian program. It's Title-IX-alicious! Giddy-up!

Ultimate Electronics is goin' down. The high-end Best Buy wannabe is being liquidated. Big screen TVs at a fraction of their retail cost! Coming to an Ultimate Electronics near you!

The assault on painkillers continues. FDA bans Bextra . . . only Celebrex left from the COX-2 inhibitors.

"Current is about empowering 18-34-year-olds to engage in the dialogue of democracy and to tell the stories of their lives using the dominant medium of their time." Al, d00d, UR A N00B.

Joe Posnanski is a really good columnist. His latest: a shocking expose of why Kansas City rates as only the 10th best city for sleep. (Minneapolis is apparently #1, fyi).

Want to wander into the tallgrass? Head for Chase County, Kansas.

Tire Pressure Monitors. Not just a good idea. The Law.

Flashing Pacifiers recalled. Kids could choke on 'em. Why would anyone buy a Flashing Pacifier in the first place?

Rock Choke -- ah, the memories. Bucknell's win over the Jayhawks will re-run at 9:30 AM CDT on ESPN Classic.

It was a travel day yesterday, coming back from the Women's Final Four in Indianapolis. But the quest for interesting snippets from the Web continues . . .

The Shuttle is finally on the launch pad again.

Stupid Politician Tricks: Congress may extend daylight-saving time. Fave quote:
"The more daylight we have, the less electricity we use," said (Democrat Representative) Markey.
Somebody introduce Markey to Copernicus, OK?

What did Sandy steal?
And what could have impelled him to destroy three of the five copies, and return the other two? Surely, that the notes on those three copies made it all too clear that somebody high up in the Clinton administration had perceived a threat very much like what happened on Sept. 11, but then failed to do anything whatever about it.

The U.N.: Rot at the top
Exonerated? To quote Mark Pieth, a member of the independent commission assigned to conduct the investigation into this monumental scandal: "We did not exonerate Kofi Annan. We said he was not dishonest, but at the same time he mismanaged the inquiry. . . . We should not brush this off. A certain mea culpa would have been appropriate."

No joy in Vol-ville. Tennessee women lose a heartbreaker to Michigan State in the National basketball championship semifinals.

Thank you, Bill Clinton. Teens believe oral sex is safer, more acceptable to peers.

Four out of five rats say "mmmm, garlic!"

The Pope is dead. As disgusting as the Deathwatch was, John Paul II by any measure was a remarkable and admirable man. He will be missed.

One of my favorite columnists is Mark Steyn. His latest announces that the well-announced conservative crackup (which I cheerfully joined in on, here) may be premature.

Is the 3-point shot in college basketball too easy?

Don't eat that deer brain. Just in case, you know.

Answering a question we've had in these here parts, the real reason why we have Daylight Saving Time.

Deathwatch! The media, having feasted their macabre hunger on Terri Sciavo, now turn their full-time, 24-by-7 attention on John Paul II. "We don't care who it is, it's a deathwatch". I gotta dig out my old Don Henley song "Dirty Laundry".

We got the bubble-headed-bleach-blonde who Comes on at five
She can tell you ’bout the plane crash
with a gleam in her eye
It’s interesting when people die-
Give us dirty laundry

Can we film the operation?
Is the head dead yet?
You know, the boys in the newsroom got a Running bet
Get the widow on the set!
We need dirty laundry

Exercise for the reader: find five news stories in your local paper which could legitimately be called "good news." The criteria are: Must be major news stories (i.e. excluding sports stories, and excluding the little two-paragraph filler news-in-brief type stories). Also, "succeed over adversity" type stories are not allowed. Extra credit if you can provide links. Let me know what you find. Start . . . NOW!

Me first . . . in the Indianapolis Star:
Daniels heartened by 55% job approval. Not sure if this really qualifies, as the subtitle to the article reads Poll: Backers laud budget and economic initiatives, but critics question priorities..Negativity isn't good news.
Feds are OK With June 5 Time Switch.
Surprise! Recording artist includes rap on gospel CD
Youngsters experience spiritual awakenings
Basketball a dunk for economy

Results for today are skewed a bit due to the Saturday Religion articles, but the Indy Star made it today with one story to spare:
For spring break, some prefer Indy

No April Fool's (although it's getting harder and harder to tell . . .)

Sandy Berger to plead guilty to taking classified documents. This guy was Clinton's National Security Advisor?

Dr. Who quits. Christopher Eccleston was concerned about being typecast. Perhaps he didn't realize that Dr. Who was a science fiction show? You know . . . Shatner? The guy who played Picard? Hello?

Noodling. Yes, noodling. (OK, this one might be an April Fools, I'll admit . . . )

Finally, the best headline of the morning:
EU sanctions hit US trousers.

Kansas City's getting a shiny new arena. It may be getting an Arena Football League team to play there.

"Could ten of the largest College Republicans start walking up and down the aisles and start removing anyone shouting?" The Coulter Chronicles, Lawrence Edition.

Related: Bush Foes Get Shown The Door at Rallies. Perhaps, every once in a while, it might be useful to shut up for a while and listen to what your political opponents have to say rather than intolerantly try to shout them down at every opportunity. Hm?

Speaking of which, out of curiosity, I went to the AARP's web site to see what they say about Social Security:
Some simple steps can be taken to begin making a down payment on that future Social Security shortfall. AARP supports:
* Investing part of the Social Security surplus so that it earns higher returns than those offered by U.S. Treasury bonds.
. . .
Market returns can be attractive, yet they come at a risk. Private accounts can lose money just as fast as they can make it.
So . . . it's a good idea to invest part of the (mythical) Social Security "surplus" but it's not a good idea to invest it?

Fark is Farked. Sarcastic geeky wiseasses worldwide hold vigils.

Tennessee punched their ticket to the women's Final Four. My Snookums is (once again) delighted.

Johnny Cochran dies of a brain tumor. I can't help but think of a certain rhyming phrase using "head" and "dead" **. (I know it's really tasteless, but so was the OJ verdict.)

The Supreme Court yesterday heard arguments regarding peer-to-peer file sharing technology. This is another issue I'm not sure about -- both sides have decent arguments. The content producers have a reasonable expectation to profit from their work, but I have big problems with outlawing technology as a replacement for enforcing the law. For instance, there are lots of things in my garage (or my kitchen for that matter) that I could use for illegal purposes. Should crow bars be illegal? This is one of those "slippery slope" situations, I think.

Timing is everything. Vatican says Pope given feeding tube.

** If it's in your head, you might be dead. Sorry.

Colleges do go out of business.
Si Tanka University in South Dakota is going under.
The school's financial crisis this academic year stems from the Bureau of Indian Affairs August declaration that Si Tanka no longer was eligible for about $1.4 million in federal funding for tribal colleges because the university's Indian student enrollment fell below 50 percent after it purchased the Huron school.
Over the past 30 years, colleges in South Dakota (Yankton College, USD-Springfield) have closed their doors. It doesn't happen often but traditional campus-based colleges do occasionally go belly-up.

Thomas Sowell always has something interesting to say:
It is fascinating to hear teachers say that having to "teach to the test" reduces their ability to engage in good teaching. What they call "good teaching" is the very reason our students do so badly in international comparisons and why colleges have to have large numbers of remedial courses to teach students what they didn't learn in school.

Did you sleep well? Tell the truth . . .

College Basketball update:
UWM coach Bruce Pearl jumps to Tennessee.
Baylor and LSU advance to the Women's Final Four.