The whole world waited breathlessly to see who would make the biggest splash:

A German dive-bombing coach, Helmut Huenerfauth, is convinced the new sport is here to stay.

"All over the place there are groups of people getting together who just want to get their backsides flayed," he said.

Oh-kay . . .

Via Fark.

The Kansas City Royals were apparently saving up their offense all season for this one game.

The victory was only the sixth in 34 games for the Royals, who own the worst record (44-91) in the majors.

Angel Berroa drove in five runs, matching his career high, and Aaron Guiel had three hits, including his first home run since Aug. 23, 2004. Emil Brown drove in four runs, equaling his career best, with a two-run homer in the eighth and a two-double in the third.

Royals need to go 19-7 to avoid 100 losses.

Thursday's results:
Idaho State 38, Southern Utah 13
North Dakota State 59, Arkansas-Monticello 7

Saturday's results:
South Dakota State 42, Wisconsin-La Crosse 13
Northern Colorado 52, Colorado Mines 31
Troy 27, Cal Poly 10
New Hampshire 17, UC Davis 13

As expected: North Dakota State and South Dakota State's big wins, Cal Poly's loss to I-A Troy.

Surprises: Southern Utah's surprisingly weak showing against Idaho State, Northern Colorado giving up 31 points to D-II Colorado Mines.

Next week's games:
Northern Colorado at Western Illinois, Thursday night
Cal Poly hosts Sacramento State
UC Davis hosts Portland State
North Dakota State at Northwestern State
South Dakota State hosts Valparaiso
Southern Utah at Texas State

Second stringers play out the pre-season schedule:

Broncos 30, Arizona 21, Broncos finish pre-season 4-0.

Rams 27, Chiefs 23, Chiefs finish pre-season 0-4.

Vikings 23, Seahawks 21, Vikings finish pre-season 3-1.

Thursday's results:
Idaho State 38, Southern Utah 13
North Dakota State 59, Arkansas-Monticello 7

Saturday's games:
South Dakota State hosts Wisconsin-La Crosse
Northern Colorado hosts Colorado Mines
Cal Poly visits I-A Troy
UC Davis hosts New Hampshire

Another day, another one-run loss.

Royals need to go 20-10 to avoid 100 losses.

SDSU's scoreboard should be ready for Saturday night's home opener vs. Wisconsin-La Crosse.

Photo credit: SDSU

Tennessee Lady Vols:
Friday, September 2:
Women's soccer, vs. Washington State
Women's cross country, at the Belmont Opener
Saturday, September 3:
Women's volleyball, vs. Utah at Columbia, MO
Sunday, September 4:
Women's soccer, at West Virginia
Women's volleyball, at Missouri

South Dakota State:
Friday, September 2:
Cross Country, at Dragon Invitiational (Moorhead State, Minnesota)
Volleyball, at Cyclone Classic (Iowa State)
Women's soccer, vs. Northern Iowa
Saturday, September 3:
Volleyball, at Cyclone Classic (Iowa State)
Football, vs. Wisconsin-La Crosse

South Dakota State gears up for the 2005 football kickoff:

South Dakota State will open its 108th football season by hosting Wisconsin-La Crosse in the 40th Annual Shrine Game Saturday (Sept. 3).

Game time is 7 p.m. at Coughlin-Alumni Stadium.

SDSU faces a team it hasn't played since 1955, the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse. SDSU and La Crosse met three times in the early 1950s: SDSU winning 35-7 in 1951 (SDSU was 8-1-1) and 20-0 in 1955 (SDSU was 6-2-1), and La Crosse winning 13-6 in 1952.

While SDSU in its second year of transition to NCAA Division I-AA, Wisconsin-La Crosse is one of the top teams in NCAA Division III, favored to win its fourth straight Wisconsin Intercollegiate Athletic Conference championship this fall. UWL returns 39 lettermen from last year’s 7-4 team which finished 5-2 in the WIAC.

Twins get 13 hits, don't score against otherwise hapless Royals.

Emil Brown drove in the game’s only run with a one-out RBI single past third base after the Twins spent nine innings proving the Royals aren’t the only club capable of turning the national pastime into low comedy.

Royals need to go 20-11 to avoid 100 losses.