In an alternate universe . . .

Sarah Palin was elected President, instead of The One. How would her first 100 days have gone? Victor Davis Hanson[*1] speculates:

WASILLA CHIC
Also in the Times, Gail Collins weighed in on the already-tired yokelism of the new commander in chief. “What we’re getting is Wasilla chic. That’s what we’re getting. She arrives in the Oval Office, and first thing sends back Blair’s gift of the Churchill bust as if it’s a once-worn Penney’s outfit. Then she gives the Brits some unwatchable DVDs as a booby prize — as if she idled the old Yukon and ran into Target’s sale aisle. Did Sarah send Bristol into Wal-Mart back in Anchorage for that ‘engraved’ iPod for the queen? And what’s this don’t-bow-to-the-queen stuff, but curtsy for a Saudi sheik?

. . .

WORSE THAN ‘NUCULAR’ABC’s Katie Couric summed up the general disappointment with the president’s communication skills. “I tried to warn the American people in that interview a few years back what they would get if they voted for her. Let’s face it: She’s a walking embarrassment. I mean just count ’em up: The mayor of Wasilla thinks Austrians speak some lingo called ‘Austrian.’ Then she tries her hand at Spanish and comes up with some concoction, ‘Cinco de Cuatro.’ Next thing she’ll walk into the window of the Oval Office and expect it to open — oops, she’s already done that. No wonder that when her Teleprompter stalls, she shuts her mouth until it catches up. I’m surprised she managed to get sworn in. And did she think that tasteless ‘Special Olympics’ slur was funny? Or making fun of octogenarian Nancy Reagan’s séances? No wonder Wanda Sykes feels at home.”

In case you missed the humor, the only changes VDH made from Obama’s first 100 days are that he changed the name from Obama to Palin, and changed the news coverage from worshipful homage to tiresome snark. And I only excerpted maybe an eighth of what VDH wrote. Everything else really happened in this universe, to a guy named Obama.

This is called satire. It probably will soon be illegal as a “hate crime” in the new Democratic Socialist Worker’s Paradise. Enjoy it while it lasts.