Category: Uncategorized

Morning Whip, 4/19/05

Your tax dollars at work. The Feds are trying again with a new, improved, we really mean it this time, this will work fer shur Food Pyramid[*1] .
People have steadily grown fatter since the food pyramid debuted in 1992. A report last month in The New England Journal of Medicine contended that obesity, particularly in children, was fueling a reversal in life expectancy, shaving four to nine months off the average life span.
Keep up the good work, USDA.

Fox News Channel: Now available on your Sprint PCS Phone[*2] . Now, the Fox News Alert “BONG” can follow you wherever you go!

Monday Night Football is moving to ESPN[*3] . NBC picks up Sunday Night Football.

Lance Armstrong to retire[*4] after this year’s Tour de France.

Morning Whip, 4/3/05

The Pope is dead. As disgusting as the Deathwatch was, John Paul II by any measure was a remarkable and admirable man[*1] . He will be missed.

One of my favorite columnists is Mark Steyn. His latest announces that the well-announced conservative crackup (which I cheerfully joined in on, here) may be premature[*2] .

Is the 3-point shot in college basketball too easy[*3] ?

Don’t eat that deer brain[*4] . Just in case, you know.

Answering a question we’ve had in these here parts, the real reason why we have Daylight Saving Time[*5] .

Morning Whip, 4/2/05

Deathwatch! The media, having feasted their macabre hunger on Terri Sciavo, now turn their full-time, 24-by-7 attention on John Paul II. “We don’t care who it is, it’s a deathwatch“. I gotta dig out my old Don Henley song “Dirty Laundry”[*1] .

We got the bubble-headed-bleach-blonde who comes on at five
She can tell you ’bout the plane crash
with a gleam in her eye
It’s interesting when people die-
Give us dirty laundry

Can we film the operation?
Is the head dead yet?
You know, the boys in the newsroom got a running bet
Get the widow on the set!
We need dirty laundry

Exercise for the reader: find five news stories in your local paper which could legitimately be called “good news.” The criteria are: Must be major news stories (i.e. excluding sports stories, and excluding the little two-paragraph filler news-in-brief type stories). Also, “succeed over adversity” type stories are not allowed. Extra credit if you can provide links. Let me know what you find. Start . . . NOW!

Me first . . . in the Indianapolis Star:
Daniels heartened by 55% job approval[*2] . Not sure if this really qualifies, as the subtitle to the article reads Poll: Backers laud budget and economic initiatives, but critics question priorities..Negativity isn’t good news.
Feds are OK With June 5 Time Switch[*3] .
Surprise! Recording artist includes rap on gospel CD[*4]
Youngsters experience spiritual awakenings[*5]
Basketball a dunk for economy[*6]

Results for today are skewed a bit due to the Saturday Religion articles, but the Indy Star made it today with one story to spare:
For spring break, some prefer Indy[*7]

Morning Whip, 4/1/05

No April Fool’s (although it’s getting harder and harder to tell . . .)

Sandy Berger to plead guilty to taking classified documents[*1] . This guy was Clinton’s National Security Advisor?

Dr. Who quits[*2] . Christopher Eccleston was concerned about being typecast. Perhaps he didn’t realize that Dr. Who was a science fiction show? You know . . . Shatner? The guy who played Picard? Hello?

Noodling[*3] . Yes, noodling. (OK, this one might be an April Fools, I’ll admit . . . )

Finally, the best headline of the morning:
EU sanctions hit US trousers[*4] .